Whoooo my name is Erin and I am a ho

lolzlolzlolz

            Gerard wakes up on Monday at three fifteen central time and calls Mikey to say he loves him, because he knows he doesn’t say it enough and Mikey needs to hear the words sometimes. After that first phone call, Gerard makes a pot of coffee and makes himself sit down to enjoy; drinks slowly and lets the coffee warm his mouth and throat on the way down. Shops won’t open for another few hours; there’s no reason to rush, he tells himself.

     Around nine am he walks to the bookstore and picks up the small red journal he’s grown to prefer over the others, he also picks up the 45 dollar pen that writes upside-down; He’s figures it’s a completely unsound investment anyways, so he gets it in a cringe inducing shade of fuchsia. Ray calls around noon to see if he’s alright and Gerard can almost make out the tone of what must have been a slightly frantic phone call from Mikey where it colors Ray’s voice. They makes plans to meet up and get some food later and Ray sounds more relieved than Gerard thinks is really necessary. He understands, he remembers how new and delicate his sobriety still is to them, but he can’t help but be little frustrated when he hangs up.

When he gets back to his house he turns on every light, television and radio because the house is too empty with Mikey away in Chicago. In the first page of his shiny new journal he writes down the lyrics of “The End” and doodles a zombie marathon runner with a 14 on his chest in the margins. He drags out the oil paints that he hasn’t seen in a while and carefully mixes colors until he has the perfect shade of green but more gold.

 

10. On Friday he and Ray crash on Ray’s couch and watch B-horror movies all day until it’s time to pick up Frank, Mikey and Bob Bryar from the airport. Bob went home to grab some personal stuff before resigning himself to spending a few weeks in Jersey before the Mass My Chem Exodus to LA, Motherfuckers (as Mikey and Frank have co-named it). Why both Frank and Mikey went with him is a mystery to Gerard, but he’s pretty sure it has something to do with boys they met on Warped. There are things he doesn’t need to know. On the way the airport Ray asks Gerard about the little book he’s writing in and Gerard tells him a little story about when he and Mikey and the parade. Ray smiles a little indulgently and goes back to driving. Gerard has to look away and out the window, make him self breathe deeply a few times so that all the words trapped in his throat don’t choke him.

 

 

8. On Sunday they all go out for sushi and Gerard fails completely at masking his anxiety over being out in a public place with the four of them. Mikey asks twice if he wants to go home, Frank sits next to him and presses his thigh against Gerard’s all evening. Ray and Bob both become overly animated every time a waitress walks by with a bottle of sake, play fighting over the best pieces of sushi and sashimi just to distract him. At one point Frank squeezes his chop sticks too hard and California roll ends up in Ray’s hair. Mikey thinks it hysterical until its Ray’s chopsticks and roe and fish sauce all over his lap; after which it becomes childish and silly.

Gerard has fun, real fun like he’d forgotten he could; he even stops running his hands over the thin pages of his journal, tucked away in his pocket and sporting it’s newest song, the one Gerard has taken to calling “house of wolves” after something Bert once said about Warped.

 

5. On Wednesday, Gerard and Frank have a very manly sleepover complete with sock footed pajamas, popcorn and pillow fights. When Gerard takes a break to jot down “Sleep”, Frank is tired enough that he gives the book a passing glance and goes back to flipping channels. When Frank falls asleep early that morning, Gerard carefully brushes his hair back from his face and traces Frank’s cheek bones as softly as he can. Gerard sits up the rest of the night, drawing gentle pictures and words on the exposed parts of Frank’s pale skin.

 

3.  Friday is spent packing, putting all the important parts of Gerard and Mikey’s life in luggage that they cart across the country. Gerard packs much faster than Mikey, due to his amazing suitcase, and spends the rest of the day watching Mikey obsess about what he’s going to need in LA, if he should bring extra socks or extra underwear and then plays it safe and packs more than enough of both. Gerard keeps his phone in his hands, absently runs his fingers over the thin form and imagines himself dialing the numbers, being forgiven and making plans and even if it never happens it makes him feel better. He has no idea what the area code is for Utah anyways. “Disenchanted” gets finished over coffee with his brother.

 

2/1. Gerard is the first at the airport the next morning, camped out with coffee and his little book long before the other guys get there. The anger he felt early that morning has passed, been written away in an anthem he’s never going to hear, has allowed for some dark humor to creep in. He names the song “Famous Last Words” because he wants to, because he wants them to know that he knew. He also writes a little ditty that manages to cheer him up considerably. They walk briskly to the gate and Gerard hugs Mikey tightly before turning to give the flight attendant his ticket. He never sees the shooter, never hears the shot and he’s grateful that he never sees their faces.

 

Gerard wakes up on Monday at three fifteen central time and calls Mikey to say he loves him, because he knows he doesn’t say it enough and Mikey needs to hear the words sometimes…

I have no idea what this is....

Current Location: home
Current Music: take a wild guess...

This is not real, I made it all up! Except for the locations in/of Nara and Kyoto, they're real. If you found this by google-ing your name....GO Away!  I wrote this, please don't steal^^

                When Adam first asked, in his own roundabout and vague Adam way because Lazara can’t say anything straightforward ever, it didn’t sound terrifying.

It’s just vocals he says. Only a few songs he says. It would save our ass he says. Adam even agreed to let Aaron talk about his “bible mumbo jumbo”; promised that he may even let Aaron “save his soul” after the show, complete with eyebrow lifting and over the top leering.

Jay, who witnessed the whole thing with an ever increasing level of smugness, didn’t even say anything. He just patted Aaron on the back and returned to his sour gummy worms. Aaron made a mental note to inform Kenny of the fate of his favorite candy the next time the tiny drummer had his sticks in hand. Hours of entertainment right there. Plus it wasn’t like Aaron couldn’t say no to Adam, just that he chose not to. Adam was a tall skinny singer with girl hair and a fucked up past and Aaron was simply missing his own one of those.

The first show wasn’t that bad; it wasn’t his first time singing in front of a crowd or even his first time without a guitar to buffer the mass of people. It was just his first time without any of his own guys on stage with him, his first time screaming someone else’s lyrics back at someone else’s fans. The day of he feels fine, maybe a little muted; during The Almost set he’s calm and polite and pretty chill. It isn’t until TBS starts to set up that the nerves hit him, only when he can feel the crowd’s growing energy even before he walks on that he starts to freak. And then he is on, and Adam is controlling the stage and Matt and Eddie are beaming at him and Mark is having a fit behind his kit and Aaron forgets to worry and lets the adrenaline take him. (Kenny even graciously swears to not tell a soul that Aaron puked twice before he went on and once when he got off, so Aaron figures it’s all good.)

It’s only later that he even think about the blond standing side with the shades and the smirk.

Aaron knew that Adam was friends with Gerard Way. Everyone on tour knew that Adam had dropped everything just to pick up the singer at Osaka airport. That didn’t mean that Aaron had ever actually seen Gerard Way on that tour, as in not walking away or the hint of his cigarette smoke after he’d left the room. Gerard stayed in his hotel room or traveled around whatever city they were in and later Aaron would see TBS and even Kenny at one point leaning over some trinket that Gerard had picked up.

Aaron had seen a My Chemical Romance show back in 2002 and had been totally captivated by the chubby, awkward kid on stage. Every year after that that Underoath did Warped, Aaron would catch My Chem’s set every chance that he could.

                Aaron loved his life, he loved touring and making music and the crew and every single moment he was on stage with Jay and Spencer and Grant and James and Alex and everyone. But right now, one month and 2 weeks into touring, he was completely willing to give all of that up for a shirt that didn’t smell like a wet, old dog had been eaten by a zombie and then regurgitated all over his suitcase. Just one fucking shirt, please God.

“You should start packing an extra suitcase. Just, you know, to get you through that week between running out of clothes and laundry.” Aaron did not scream like a little girl when Gerard Way suddenly and silently appeared behind him. No at all, no way.

“….What?”

“I mean I don’t, but Frank does and you seem to feel the same way about showering so...”

“What?” Showering? WFT? Gerard just kept looking at him with this expectant look on his face and… huh, he’s got really pretty eyes “Um…Hello?”

“Hey. I’m Gerard. You really should look into that suit case idea.”

“Hello, I’m Aaron. Have we already had the first part of this conversation and I just wasn’t paying attention or something?” Gerard laughed with this breathy exhale and dropped his face.

“No” he smiled, “Sometimes I just open my mouth and really random shit comes out. It’s okay.” Gerard had these long, pale hands that kept moving around his body; his mouth and then his hips and hair and back to his mouth again. Every time they fluttered somewhere else on his body, Aaron would lose track of the conversation and have to hastily play catch up to whatever strange tangent Gerard had started on.

Gerard found him after the show, sweaty and spent and just about ready to kill for a full night’s sleep. Gerard smiled and held out a shirt; soft black cotton with bones and names outlined in white. It still smelled like Gain detergent. Gerard was talking and motioning with his hands and Aaron responded blindly (yeah, sure...what?). Aaron’s mom used Gain, so did all the band moms. The scent makes him think of Spencer, pre-show and crazy with energy, throwing himself on Aaron and then retreating only to do it again. He was still holding the shirt and staring at it when Gerard smiled and then he was called away by a tech and Aaron was just standing there with someone else’s clothes in his hands.

Gerard woke him up before the sun with coffee and over bright eyes; Aaron wondered when the last time Gerard got any good sleep was, since he always seemed awake but never really present. The coffee was really good, Arabic maybe.

Gerard took him out to Nara, the old capital of Japan; a huge metropolis with the most beautiful park in the center. It's like Manhattan many times over, only with ancient temples instead of skyscrapers. The trees are all bare and gray snow covered everything, every step they took around the park made the same soft crunching sound. Every few seconds, Gerard looked over at Aaron and smiled, “Just wait” he kept saying, “you have to see this.” Aaron had no idea what he's talking about.

Towards the center of the park, just as Aaron's ears were starting to pick up the soft murmur of many people speaking quietly, Gerard smiled again at Aaron. Gerard took Aaron's shoulders and spun him, placed one hand over Aaron's eye and another at between his shoulder blades. “You sorta have to see this all at one time. Trust me.” Aaron could feel people around him, knew he was walking on hard stone, felt the end of what little heat the sun was giving off, and then Gerard hand's slipped from Aaron's face.

Holy...shit.” The Buddha was the largest thing Aaron had ever seen, towered over him in it's estate. The golden sunlight behind the Buddha took the weak gray light and warmed it, made it golden across Gerard and Aaron's faces. He had never felt so small before, not even in the Cathedrals of Europe, standing before the alters.

“Adam told me you're pretty religious. I thought you might like this place. He's like...thousands of years old and people still come from all over the world to see him, to see this place.” Gerard motioned to the silent hall, the stone monuments and bare trees, the believers praying.

They went out again a few days later, to Kyoto proper, and Gerard drags Aaron to every art gallery and temple that their little English map listed. Gerard talked excitedly about every artist, they difference in their style how they use color and light, runs around with Aaron in tow and took him to all the best street stands for snacks. Aaron wasn't really paying attention to the words, found himself more distracted by the way Gerard's mouth formed the sounds and shapes, the way his hand would cut through the air and absently touch Aaron when Gerard wanted him to see something special. The only thing Gerard said that he could remember later that night, “to someone like me, Japan is like Jerusalem or Mecca or something. A holy place.”

A night off, a Tuesday, and Gerard took Aaron to Kyomizudera, so that Aaron could see the city lit up at night. It looked like Times Square on acid, like an ADHD rainbow. The height was maybe, kind of, possibly making Aaron sick to his stomach. But any time Aaron turned his face to say something to Gerard, maybe to ask that they head back, the light would spark against Gerard's cheek bones or hair and would Aaron stay quiet.

They had a hotel room that night, all of them, and Gerard invited Aaron to watch Dawn of the Dead in badly dubbed Japanese with him. It had been a long day, first the early show and then dinner with all the bands and then Gerard. It wasn't like he didn't want to spend time with Gerard, he was just tired. “Come on, I promise not to keep you out past curfew.”

Gerard showered first, reappeared in his boxers and tee shirt. His hair was curled from the steam and dripping little drops that caught the light behind him. His skin was flushed pink from the heat. Aaron's fingers felt cool to the touch when he dragged his fingers over Gerard's arm. Aaron wasn't stupid and Gerard was just this side of transparent. It was sweet, In a way, that Gerard had gone through all the trouble to seduce Aaron when he could have just asked. When Aaron breathed that against Gerard's skin the other smile.

“It was fun anyways.” Gerard's hands leave hot trails where they skim Aaron's belly and chest, slipping off his shirt and Aaron's hands slide up under Gerard's own, feeling the pull of soft skin and muscles underneath. They're the same height almost, Aaron doesn't even have to stretch up to kiss Gerard, to lick purposefully into his mouth and let Gerard catch his lip and bite down softly.

Gerard's inability to let his hands settle persists, one second they're at his neck, trailing through his hair, running down his back and around to his hips and just lower. They move with easy determination, griping and stroking through the worn denim of Aaron's pants. “Off, take 'em off.”

The bed gives under them, Gerard pulls Aaron on top, set's him firmly on his belly. Aaron can feel Gerard's cock sliding between his ass, hot and heavy against him and just slightly wet at the tip. “Have you?” Gerard reaches for the little bottle by the bed even as he's asking

“...Yeah.” He's lying, he's never with anyone else; but by himself, with two fingers slick and flexed and just pressing inside himself, that's nothing new. Gerard probably knows, can tell by the hesitation, but he doesn't stop or even slow down.

“Show me, okay? Let me see you.” Gerard opens the bottle and pushes it at Aaron, pushes him down the bed to lie of his back, watches him warm and slick two fingers. The lube smells like cotton candy, probably tastes like it too, and Aaron wonders briefly how Gerard even got it through customs.

He sighs when the first finger pushes through, that's never the one that hurts, only a spread of warmth. For the second finger he has to concentrate of Gerard's gentle murmurs of, “yes” and, “good, just like that” and, “ you look so good like this” to keep from stopping. It hurts a little, a sharp sting and then a slow burn that spreads as his fingers slide in and out.

Gerard moves, crawls to the foot of the bed and presses soft kisses to Aaron's hips and stomach as he slides down to his knees on the floor. The first light touch of his tongue, just above his entrance, stills Aaron. Causes his hand to falter and his thighs to shake. “Shh...relax. You'll like it, just let me, please.” Gerard removes Aaron's fingers, replaces them with slow, firm grazes of his tongue and gentle kisses. Gerard's own fingers are gentle, he only works one inside at a time and licks around it, slides it out and pushes his tongue deep, slowly slides two and licks between them as he spreads Aaron open.

The slow build is killing Aaron, he starts begging and pleading early, he's gasping and whimpering by the time Gerard moves back up his body. Gerard pushes a finger covered with lube and Aaron's own precome into Aaron's mouth, smirks when he sucks at it gladly. “Come on, on your knees for me, okay?”

Aaron roll over, presses his ass out in the air and smiles when he hears Gerard chuckle and smack it lightly. Then Gerard is against him, lining up and pushing inside and oh god, it hurts; Aaron can't help tightening against him, can feel it when Gerard keeps pushing against his body until it gives, until he's inside and Gerard is flush against his back. Whispering against his skin, “relax, you're fine. I won't hurt you.”

Aaron breaths and waits for his body to steady, leans into Gerard's hands at his hips. Gerard starts slow, an easy rocking that warms Aaron's body and sends little spikes down his legs. It's gentle and safe and not quite enough, not yet; Aaron clenches around Gerard, just lightly, just wants to make him push a little harder, a little deeper. He can hear Gerard's strained laugh when he does, feels Gerard's hand pushes between his shoulder blades hard, until he drops down on to his forearms. Gerard's next thrust hurts it feels so good. Heat is pooling between his hip bones, slowly spreading out as Gerard's thrusts deepen and stay. Aaron can almost feel the bruises forming on the back of his thighs, feels the sweet ache spreading along his back side.

Gerard's hand is burning where it wraps around him, slick with sweat and pulling the orgasm from Aaron with long strokes. “Come on, Aaron, come for me..”

The orgasm floods through him, every muscle in his body clenches and his fingers and toes go numb with it. Gerard groans, fucks Aaron through the pleasure, four jarring thrusts before he's coming deep inside and staying.

They tumble down, Gerard's spent and sweaty and Aaron is heaving and curling around himself. Gerard pulls out, slips away from the bed for five, six, 12 seconds before he's back against Aaron, gently pulling him up and handing him pills and water, “Aspirin” he says.

“You know, I've met you before. At a concert in Florida.” Aaron is still curled in to Gerard, mouthing words into his chest. He's finally found a position that takes away most of the pressure from his ass.

“I don't...”

“You're were drunk. You kissed me in the bathroom.” Dawn in slowly creeping up the wall, catching the stainless steal decorations on it's way.

“Oh...”

“Yeah.” a pause, “I married her. I'm married now.”

“...I know.” Aaron tilted his head to look at Gerard, to see if he was reading this right. Gerard looked back with that same open, earnest look he'd always had. Aaron sighed and went back to watching the coming dawn. He already knew what it was like to only want what you know you can't have.

Oh Thank God, it's over! This thing kicked my ass for a while, you'd better be happy...

Current Location: Lana
Current Music: When the World ends...DMB

       Oh Joy! First official update! (BTW...Amy is looking at pictures of wee GeeWay. One really must respect the internet stalking abilities of some people...)
    Okay, so who watched Sesame Street as a kid? Yeah, pretty much every one right? (The statistics that PBS provided are something like %95 of houses with children ages 2-5 in the cities, a little less in the suburbs.) So who is it that is making such a fuss about the first and second volumes that were recently released on DVD? PBS packaged them with the warning that these episodes are not sutible for the faint of heart or their chillins. This brings me to a thought that occured to me in a car dealership; who the hell is going to watch these DVDs? I was raised on the show (plus a steady diet of My Neighbor Totoro, Power Rangers, Lamb Chops, and Fraggle Rock) but I'm not going to go out and buy it just for the nostalgia. Also, the majority of the episodes are from the 70s and I have a small problem with watching puppets that I now know are olden than I am.        
     What's so wrong with a little freedom in television? It really pisses my off when parents of today pitch a huge bitch fit about something "inappropriate" on Tv in some misguided attempt to feel like they have some control over what their child sees.  I remember when Escaflowne was on Fox Saturday morning, until about the sixth episode when someone saw an anime characters ass and it was immediately pulled.  So what if kids are watching a giant hallucinating canary, or two homosexual puppets who had to be closeted even on public television, or a non-medicated green....thing that lived in a trash can!? It's no worse than what they get at home or, god forbid, from the Teletubbies. (please ignore the bottled up rage at what parents subject their kids to in the name of brighter futures and possibly an Ivy League education)
    Thank GD for Avenue Q...

Current Location: Amy's House
Current Music: ....Lana's chatting

Dude,  I finally updated my old journal!  So for those of you who looked at your friends list (unless you're a rec journal, in which case please ignore this ^^) and thought to yourself ,"who the fuck is this?"
       It's me! Erin! Hi!

Okay, spaz fest over, for now.

Current Location: barnies
Current Music: Im pretty sure it's the new Backstreet Boys Song....